Saturday, December 29, 2012

An Introduction To Nothing Part 2 by Lyle Schultz


Two days after barely graduating from High School I was diagnosed with the severest case of  Mononucleosis my physician had ever encountered in his 25 year  career.  I spent an entire year laying in bed, watching movies, and eating sleeping pills.  During the first month of this sickness I had to sterilize all my dishes with bleach. I felt as though I was a Leper. My greedy little spleen had grown to such an enormous size that if someone bumped into me it could rupture. To some extent I was proud of my disease.


Internet wasn't common back then, so movies served as my escape pod. This is when I discovered Terry Gilliams work. I would say he is one of my major influences, especially Brazil, and 12 monkeys.

Phoxx Hat.

Near the end of my disease I began making a very twisted and perverse zine with a good friend of mine. It was called Phoxx Hat. Phoxx Hat was total escapism. Phoxx Hat was a filthy heathenistic entity. Its dirge would even make the Marquis De Sade weep like a child. We believed that ART was a bastard god that gave us orders to make this sick thing. We got high from it. Everything was art. The filth became so powerful my friend had to build a steel lined wooden box with a lock on it just  to store the damned thing.

Heavy Metal Janitor.

At this point I was healthy enough to start working again. Physically healthy that is. I worked the graveyard shift at a major supermarket. I also worked with a company that cleaned banks after hours. I was miserable. Eventually I moved to a larger city, and became a janitor. I spent my spare time writing and playing guitar. I usually went to work high and/or drunk. Phoxx Hat was one of the only things that kept me alive. Life was horrible. Living in a frozen redneck city. Being paid minimum wage to clean up filth. I became a germ freak, and very obsessive compulsive.

The Question.

One day my boss informed me that I wasn't showing enough enthusiasm with my job.  After a few minutes of verbally fighting with him in the parking lot, he asked me a question.  "What do you want to do with your life if you don't like being a janitor!?
The Beginning.

A few months later I moved to a new frozen inbred province and enrolled in Art School. That's where we will start off next week.



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